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Hello there! If you’re reading this you’re probably awaiting some interesting facts about me, which you’re not going to get, because I am not the most interesting of people. But either way, let’s begin, shall we?

My name is Emma Jingleheimerschmidt (no, not really, but let’s pretend) and I live in a shitty and cold north-eastern part of a shitty and cold country in the north of Europe. My father claims that they named me after they watched an old soap opera called ‘thirtysomething,’ in which there was a baby named Emma. My mother vehemently denies this, probably because she’s not the type of woman to take pride in naming a child after a tv character.

I like books, diet pepsi, M&M’s and tv. I dislike camels, chai tea and raisins. Books are better than people, and I subsequently bury myself in them instead of having any kind of voluntary contact with my peers. I regularly cry because fictional characters break my heart. Instead of building a social life outside the magical kingdom that is my bed, I’ve prioritized watching every season of Friends 5 times over and made plans for world domination. When I was a kid I wanted to either be Wolverine from the X-Men or a rocket scientist. Since then I’ve realized that I am not in possession of an adamantium skeleton, nor do I possess any  kind of aptitude for science… or anything else useful for that matter. What I lack in social skills I more than make up for in pop-culture references, movie quotes, and an extensive knowledge of Disney lyrics and facts about meerkats. (No, really, quiz me. I watched an unhealthy amount of Meerkat Manor as a young grasshopper.) Like any normal person, I love music, and I’ve been playing the piano for… let’s just call it a few years because I have the memory of a goldfish. I wear pajamas 14 hours a day and have become extremely capable in the art of wasting my teenage years blogging instead of doing anything productive. I love to travel and I wish I lived in New York. Or London. Or… well, anywhere that isn’t here, really. I make a lot of irrelevant text posts and I complain a lot, and you’re running a rather high risk of disliking me. But that’s all right, it happens all the time. Don’t sweat it. As long as you don’t tag your hate or ask me if I’m ‘Team Gayl or Teem Pita!!1!”, we’ll probably get along gr8. I should warn you, pretty much all people annoy me, especially those with poor grammar and people who talk to me when I have headphones on. I never use capital letters because I’m lazy, and when I do, it’s ALL CAPS, because EMPHASIS (THIS POST IS A LIE I NEVER USE PROPER PUNCTUATION EITHER. YOU’VE ALL BEEN DECEIVED.) 

Music: I like a lot of different things, but Mayday Parade, Fall Out Boy, The Maine, All Time Low and Taylor Swift own my heart. Other favorites include You Me At Six, Jack’s Mannequin, Mumford & Sons, Damien Rice, The xx, The Temper Trap, Coldplay, Maroon 5, The Killers, Johnny Flynn, Marianas Trench, The Summer Set, Eliza Doolittle, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Bon Iver, The Fray, The Strokes, Veronica Maggio, Håkan Hellström, OneRepublic, We the Kings, 3OH!3, Sparks the Rescue, The All-American Rejects, U2, John Mayer, Cobra Starship. I also have a music tag, a last.fm, and if you have a spotify you can enjoy a link to one of my playlists here.

TV: I’m absolutely shit at remembering things but I like Supernatural, Skins UK, Doctor Who, Grey’s Anatomy, Miranda, The O.C, How I Met Your Mother, Psych, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Glee, Criminal Minds, Merlin, Scrubs, and so many others. If it’s on tumblr, I’ve probably seen it.

And.. that’s about it. If you, for some reason, have any questions or something, you know where to find me.

“Emma once punched me in the face. It was awesome.” - Julia

“Yet another fabulous blog from the girl who brought you such text posts as ‘i have potato chips in my bra how did this happen’ containing all the characteristics of a timeless classic in making. You will laugh, you will cry, and you will not leave unaffected. It’s the fascinating tale of a girl and her complete lack of a social life. One girl. One blog. One story. In cinemas November 2012.” - The Independent